So, I’m sitting there playing a video game at home – and the doorbell rings. I figure it’s my next door neighbor returning a DVD of Resident Evil 2 that I’d loaned him. Instead, it’s my former room-mate. I invite him in and he breaks down – just loses it as he apoligises. I gave him a hug and he just keep saying how sorry he was over and over.
After a bit he got a hold of himself again and we sat down. We tried to catch up a bit – but it was awkward. He invited me to dinner at the restruant where he works and we talked a little about our families.
The phone rang and I glanced at the caller ID and said I’d call them back – instead, he told me that he had to go. So, he left and I answered the phone.
It was weird. Weird, weird, weird. All these months – no contact. Then out of the blue…
And it’s good. I’m glad he stopped by. And I’m glad he felt bad – in a way. Maybe he’s learned something from it.
But I felt myself being so inwardly cold. Detatched. I went through the wringer when all this went down and I’ve had to put a lot of stuff behind me. Do I really want to start things up again? And a mental inventory shows that the the “trust bucket” is bone dry. Can you be friends with someone that you don’t trust?
I don’t know the answer to that one. I guess we’ll give it a whirl. The little voice in the back of my head is cynical and tells me I’m being set up. The magic 8-ball agrees.
But, if I don’t give him a chance – an I being untrue to myself? I’m a nice guy and I care about people. I don’t think I want to let my fears change who I am and how I act.
So, forgive = yes. Mostly. Forget? Nope. Means I haven’t learned anything.
Maybe the cynic is winning after all. And who’s to argue with the magic 8-ball?
More later – time to go back to work…
